(written June 6/11-- I procrastinated on the first post so much that I alread have a second!)
I've been back on my meds for a day and a half. The rebound feelings/side effects are gone, but I don't feel back to normal. I feel... scattered, sensual, and shadowy. I have motivation to do things, some things, but it's not a perky, upbeat motivation. I want to draw or create... something. I want to clean (a little). I want to watch something "dark," something I can empathize with and feel deep to my core.
I feel sexual, but I'm not sure I would act on it if given the opportunity. I'm somehow nervous to be alone right now, but not for a specific reason. It's not a situation where I'd call up a friend and say "I want to cut right now. I need to say it out loud so I don't do it." However, before I started taking Cymbalta, this would be when I'd start calling/texting everyone I could, searching for some way to not be alone. If I had potential plans but didn't hear from the person, I would obsessively call the him or her. I would call every hour... every 30 minutes.... every 15-- however long I could manage to make myself wait between calls. (I do apologize to those who were on the receiving end of this!) Usually nothing came of the calling. I'd wait, compulsively playing crossword puzzles, JT's Blocks, solitaire, minesweeper, anything to keep me waiting a minute longer.
Phone call. I have friends. I have friends who understand and have been here. What timing ^_^
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